eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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