I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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