I can feel you judging me through the phone.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
