i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
