problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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