i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
