This dress was meant to end up on your floor
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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