I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
