lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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