i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
