in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
