just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
