im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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