the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
