you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
