i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I woke up under a house in Key West
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