my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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