My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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