i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
