I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm at about main and main street
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
