Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
