when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
