32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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