420 ftw
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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