some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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