It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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