How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
