Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
