I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize