they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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