i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
