what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
