I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
