office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
my poor anus
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
