I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
