I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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