Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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