i don't like sucking hair
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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