I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
