Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
