like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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