i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
