just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
