that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize