happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
