Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just gift wrapped bread.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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