i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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