turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He? As in you personified your dick?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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