I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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