your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
