someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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