Buhtt sex?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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