Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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