you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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