no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
