So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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