Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
