I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
