Those balls look pretty dangerous.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
