Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
