You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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