i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
