Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
