Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize