why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
