My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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