i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think people are normalizing furries
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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